Solutions
by Scarlet Scully
Summary: Prologue is about 2 months after my other story: Complications. Timeline moves forward after that. Kate and Jack are still looking for solutions, when their lives become complicated once again. Spoilers up to S3.
1. Prologue

Solutions 

_A/N: For those of you who haven't read it, this story takes over where my other story - **Complications** - left off. I think that by reading the prologue, you **should** get a rough idea of what happened in that story and you **should **be able to understand where the characters are coming from now. Of course, you **could** always just go ahead and read Complications first -- I won't mind. For those of you who were so kind to read (and especially those who reviewed:), this is the epilogue I had mentioned - only it grew into something a little more than an epilogue. Sorry it took so long. I hope you will forgive me and enjoy:) Scarlet_

_Summary: Taking place about two months after Complications or a few weeks after Day Three. Kate is still struggling with the ramifications of her decision on her life and the lives of those around her._

_Spoilers up to Season Three, although in my world the events of Season Three would have happened a bit differently. The whole virus/Stephen Saunders thing happened, but the Salazars were dealt with a little differently. Nothing beyond Season Three though… I still haven't accepted Audrey or any of the rest of the events of the last two seasons._

_Please read and review. Scarlet._

Prologue: Two Months Later

Kate rushed to answer the door before the ringing doorbell awoke her sleeping son. She grimaced as she recognized the figure on the other side of the door. Pulling the door open angrily, she confronted the woman on her doorstep.

"Kim, you know that you shouldn't be here. Your father respects my decision. Why can't you?"

"Because he shouldn't be respecting your decision. That's why."

Kate ushered her into the foyer, closing the door behind her. The pair moved into the kitchen and faced each other from opposite sides of the island.

"Where's Connor?"

"He's sleeping. Why are you here, Kim?"

"This isn't right, what you're doing, Kate. It's wrong and you have to know it. It's wrong for you, for Connor and for my Dad."

"That's not true. In the long run, this is what's best for Connor. He'll never be safe as the son of Jack Bauer. You should understand that better than anyone. And if you came here to question my judgement, you can leave now."

Kim was surprised by Kate's abruptness, but persisted. "I'll leave, Kate. But you'll listen to what I have to say first. You're making a huge mistake that will ruin Connor's life. That boy deserves to know his father. He deserves the right to grow up surrounded by the love of both of his parents. You're letting one incident alter the course of the rest of your life."

Kate interrupted her tirade. "That's right. I am changing the course of my life. It's my life. It's my right to choose how I live it."

"No, it's not your right," Kim replied, her voice rising with anger. "Your choices don't just affect your life. They affect Connor's life and my life and my Dad's life." She paused before continuing in a quieter tone. "This is destroying him, Kate."

Kate pondered Kim's arguments for several moments before responding. "I'm sorry that it has to be this way and I'm sorry it's been difficult for Jack. But imagine how much worse he'd feel if something happened to Connor because of him. This is hard on all of us, but it's for the best in the long run."

Frustrated, Kim paced across the kitchen floor. "You're doing all this because of one incident."

"Not just one. Don't forget about your own experiences."

"Experience," she clarified. "I'm twenty and there was only one time in my entire life that his work put me in danger. You're expecting the worst and it's going to ruin everyone's life."

She continued her pacing until she stood opposite Kate once again. Pointing an accusing finger at her chest, she spoke, her voice seething with anger. "You are single-handedly ruining my father's life. He is a wonderful father and Connor deserves to know that. And in spite of everything, he cares for you and he needs you. Now more than ever."

Kate was silenced by the fury emanating from the young woman facing her. Over the past few weeks, she had begun to second-guess her decision. Kim's anger caused her to feel even less confident about her plan. "How is Jack?"

"I'm not going to lie to you, Kate, so I hope you really want to know. He's not good. He's been using drugs and CTU found out and forced him to take leave to get help. He won't let me help him and he won't let me sit with him and he won't come with me to the hospital to see Chase. He's all alone and I'm really worried about him." Kim's voice broke with emotion and she quickly blinked away the tears that had formed in her eyes.

"Kim…" Sympathy for the young woman overwhelmed Kate and she walked to her side. She had known that her decision would hurt Jack and affect her life, but she hadn't factored in the effect that it had on all the other lives that intertwined with their lives. It took her a moment to realize that Kim had mentioned that Chase was in the hospital. "What happened to Chase?"

"It's a long story and one that, frankly, you're not entitled to hear any longer." Awareness crossed her features then. "You knew about the drugs, didn't you? You didn't even flinch when I mentioned it."

Kate nodded her head silently.

"That's why you left him, isn't it? It wasn't just the kidnapping. It was the drugs. You do realize that he had to start using drugs for his cover. He was doing his job."

"I knew about the drugs. I'd be lying if I said that it didn't factor into my decision at all. But, it's not why I left. In the end, I'm just trying to protect my son." Kate crossed her arms in front of her. "Now, you've said your peace so it's time to go."

"I don't suppose I can see Connor before I go."

"Kim, I just put him to sleep," Kate began to deny the request, but relented upon seeing the disappointment cross her features. "Please be quiet."

Kate led her down the hallway to the nursery, stepping aside to let Kim enter the room first. Connor continued to sleep undisturbed. Wisps of blonde hair fell across his forehead and his mouth moved in a slight sucking motion. The two women stood in silence for several minutes before Kate started to close the door. No words passed between them until they reached the foyer.

"He's beautiful, Kate. Thank you for letting me see him." Kim was halfway through the doorway when she turned back. "Please think about what I said. Even if it's too late for you and my Dad. Let Connor know his father."

Two days later, Kate waited patiently at the entrance to Jack's apartment. She had left Connor with her father and, despite her better judgement, had made her way to Jack's after completing her errands for the afternoon. Errands that had actually served to give her an afternoon out of the house. She hadn't realized how much she would miss the freedom of being able to just hop in her car and go somewhere whenever she wanted. Taking Connor anywhere required so much extra effort that she had fallen into the habit of having things delivered.

Kate was pulled from her reverie as the door opened before her. She was shocked by the appearance of the man framed in the entranceway. The colour he had taken home from his time in Mexico had faded away, replaced by a dull, ghostly pallor. His eyes were bloodshot and he clearly hadn't shaved for several days. It took her several minutes to regain her composure, but apparently Jack hadn't noticed. 'He's probably just as shocked to find me standing here as I am by his appearance.'

Regaining her composure, Kate broke the uncomfortable silence first. "Jack, can I come in?"

"No." His answer was abrupt, direct, and took her off her guard. She hadn't anticipated this coldness from him. She chided herself inwardly, trying to imagine if the roles were reversed and her own greeting to him were he to suddenly show up on her doorstep, unannounced.

"Jack, please let me talk to you." She held a hand up to ward off his forthcoming refusal. "I know you're angry with me. You probably hate me. I know I'm asking a lot, and I don't know what I would do if the situation were reversed, but please just hear me out."

The pair stood in uncomfortable silence. Jack's face revealed nothing to Kate and she steeled herself for the disappointment that would wash over her when he finally turned her away. He moved back through the doorway and she was so certain that he was about to close it in her face that she stood rooted in place for a full minute before moving through the opening he had left her.

Jack hadn't waited for her to enter and was already seated on the couch, a foot propped on the coffee table, a beer in one hand, a remote control in the other. Kate scanned the room in search of a seat, taking in the newspapers and fast food containers that were strewn about, finding none. She picked up a cardboard tray that held two empty coffee cups and several wadded up napkins and carried it into the kitchen, only to find the garbage already filled beyond capacity.

"You didn't come here to clean up, Kate, so don't." She cringed inwardly at the steel in his voice. "I like things the way they are, or I'd do something about it. Just say what you came to say and then go."

Kate dropped the tray on the counter amongst the dirty dishes and strode back into the living area. "You like things the way they are, Jack? How can you?"

Anger sharpened her stance in stark contrast to his own relaxed posture. Anger heightened even more so by his apparent disregard for her presence. The only hint of emotion in him was the slight movement as he clenched his jaw. He continued to stare at the television, ignoring her question.

She softened her voice in the face of his mute defiance. "I know you, Jack, and you don't like this," she indicated the filth surrounding her. "You don't sit and stare at a TV all day. You are more than this." She paused, hoping to gain some response from him. "At least, you were."

Jack's only response was to take another drink of his beer. Several minutes passed between them in silence. Shaking her head, Kate turned to leave.

"Why didn't you bring him?"

"What?" His words were so soft, she wasn't sure that she heard them correctly.

"Why didn't you bring him, Kate?" Agitation increased the volume of his voice. "Why did you come here after so long and not bring him? How could you come to see me and deny me my son, Kate?" He bit her name off bitterly.

Slamming his beer on the table before him, he strode to stand before her. "Why are you here? You don't want anyone to know that he has anything to do with me, that you have anything to do with me, remember? So why are you here?"

He moved closer, invading her space, intimidating her with his presence and the hatred in his eyes. She stepped back reflexively.

"Did you come to gloat? Is that it? Well, here you go. Look at me. Get your fill. You were so right to take Connor away from me. You were right, Kate. I'm a loser strung out on drugs who destroys anything that comes close to him. This is my life and you were right to get the hell out of it. So get the hell out of it!"

Kate flinched as his fury washed over her, but she held her ground. "You don't have to live like this, Jack. I don't want you to live like this."

"Well, guess what? When you decided that I couldn't be a part of your life, you pretty much gave up the right to tell me how to live mine. Is that why you came? To make sure that I was okay? Well, I'm not. Think about how you would feel if I took Connor away from you. If you lost your job and your friends and your partner and everything else that mattered in your life. Now think about how you would feel if you were the one that had done it all. If you were the one who had caused all that pain in your life, and in their lives.

"I'm not going to sugar-coat it for you, Kate. It's not easy. My life hasn't been good. But I'm still here, hoping that it can't get any worse. Trying to pick up the pieces and move on and then you show up. Reminding me of everything that I'm trying to forget. Pretending that you care how I'm…"

"I care, Jack."

"You don't get to care!" He pointed an accusatory finger in her face. "You can't care." Jack's voice cracked with emotion. "This wouldn't be happening if you cared."

"Please, Jack." She reached up and grasped his hand in hers, entangling their fingers. She stepped closer to him, closing the space between them. Bringing their hands down to their sides, she used her free hand to stroke his brow. "You have to know that I care about you. You have to believe that taking Connor from you was the hardest decision of my life. You have to believe that not a minute goes by without me second-guessing that decision."

She felt his fury subside slightly, her touch soothing his ire as she had hoped it would. As the angry sparks faded in his eyes, she witnessed the pain previously hidden. Then he blinked, replacing the vulnerability she had seen with cold indifference once again. He released her hand and stepped away, turning his back while running a hand through his already-dishevelled hair.

"Alright, Kate. Why are you here?" His voice sounded defeated when he asked the question.

"What are you doing, Jack?" She asked in return. She quickly elaborated when he turned to her, questioning. "I mean, is this what you want? Is this your grand plan? Don't you want to get better? Kim said that you could go back…"

"Kim. Kim asked you to come and see me. Now I understand. That's why you're here, so soon after it all happened." He flopped down on the couch, resuming his earlier position.

"I don't… after what happened, Jack?" Her question was met with stony silence. Determined, Kate sat next to him, angled so she could look at his face. "No, Jack, I don't think you do understand."

Jack turned his gaze to hers, but remained silent, only a slightly raised eyebrow indicated that he was interested in what she would say next.

Encouraged by his lack of protest, she continued. "Yes, Kim did come and see me. And, yes, talking to her forced me to come here sooner. But, I was already on my way here, in my mind. I was already thinking that maybe I wasn't right to force you out of my life, our lives. But, I wasn't sure. I'm still not sure. You have to understand how emotional and upset I was that day. How terrified I was… for Connor… and for myself."

Kate ducked her head in shame with that admission and subsequently, had missed the softening in Jack's expression. Taking a deep breath, she pushed forward with her confession. "But you didn't really even put up a fight, you didn't even really argue. So when I started to question myself, I thought that maybe you thought I was right, too. That you thought that I should stay away from you, even when I needed you with me." She threw up her hands in frustration. "This isn't making any sense, is it?"

"Kate…" He met her eyes, unsure of what to say next. He understood the motives behind her decision. In some weird, third-party observer kind of way, he even agreed with it. But he struggled to get past the hurt and anger; the pain and suffering of the past two months. He struggled to find the love he once felt for the woman before him and he struggled not to find it. Love meant forgiveness and he didn't know if he was ready to forgive.

When Jack failed to continue, she interrupted his silence again. "Jack, I came here to find out what you want."

"What I want?"

"What you want. If you want to be in Connor's life, I won't stop you. Or at least, I wouldn't, if you were the man that gave him life. The man that I loved."

A ghost of a smile danced on Jack's lips. "You mean, you'd change your mind."

"On one condition." Caution crossed his features as she spoke. "No drugs, Jack. I can't have you bring that into his life. I'll let you back in, but I won't compromise on this, okay?"

Jack smiled and his smile reached his eyes for the first time in months. He knew that the road to recovery would bring him more pain than he wanted to imagine, but he knew he would make it through. He knew that he had something waiting at the end of the road: his son. He reached out and wrapped Kate in a fierce hug, discovering in her embrace the lifeline that he had been struggling to find for so long.

After several minutes, he pulled back slightly, keeping his arms around her but moving so he could see her face. "If I get to be a part of Connor's life, what about you, Kate? What does that mean about us?"

She looked away hesitantly. "One thing at a time, Jack. One thing at a time."

_A/N: Well, that was the epilogue/prologue I had alluded to. Please let me know if it was worth reading. I intend to take this story further, if there's interest. I have all sorts of fun planned for the pair, maybe even a few other 24 characters as well. Thanks for reading and please review. Scarlet._


	2. Chapter 1

_A/N: So the idea for this story grew from my yearning to continue with the slightly AU that I had created in Complications and was inspired by many sources both inside and outside of the 24 world. I hope you enjoy the journey we're about to embark on as much as I enjoyed mapping it out._

_Also, I mentioned spoilers only up to Season Three. However, since my timeline is bringing me very close to Season Four, I may introduce some characters (that I like) from that season. Not really a spoiler since I'm not going to be referencing anything that happened then, but thought I should mention their future presence._

_And to quote (or paraphrase) another wonderful fanfic author: "To read and not review is a fanfic sin." Please be mindful of your soul:) On with the show. Scarlet._

Solutions

Chapter one - One year later

Tires screeched and horns blared, followed closely by the sound of crunching metal. These sounds barely registered to Kate Bauer as she fought to maintain control of her spinning sedan. Fighting with the steering wheel, she vainly tried to return to her original course, naively believing that she could right her pathway and continue forward with little more evidence of the impact than her shaken nerves and damaged paint. As she struggled to orient herself, cars flew past her in the opposite direction as more horns blared and more tires screeched. A less-than-agile minivan dashed her hopes of a quick resolution to her current predicament, failing to avoid her spinning car, and colliding with the rear half of the sedan. Its momentum stopped her spin, sliding the Audi across the freeway and slamming her car into the concrete median and her ribs into the armrest between the seats. The force of the collision deployed the airbags and spiralled Kate downward into unconsciousness.

The distinctive ring of the interoffice phone system interrupted Jack mid-sentence, followed by Chloe's voice, calling his name. He glanced at the two men seated on the other side of the desk, exasperation present in all their faces.

"Chloe, I'm in a meeting. Can you please take a message?"

"It's your wife. And, I'm not your secretary. Take your own messages."

"Sorry, I know you're not my secretary, but this meeting is important. Tell Kate I'll call her when its finished."

"I told her that already. She said it was important that she talk to you. She's on line three."

Jack looked at the two men apologetically. "Curtis, Bill, mind if we take a break for a few minutes?"

"Sure, Jack," Bill answered. "Why don't you just bring your notes to my office when you're done and we'll continue in there. And bring Chloe with you. I have a feeling that we're going to need her help with this."

Jack waited for the men to leave before picking up the line. A feeling of unease had settled in the pit of his stomach, had actually been there all morning, and he didn't know if it was related to the intel they had just been discussing or something else. Either way, his instincts were telling him that something was wrong and he had learned to trust his instincts a long time ago.

"Kate, honey, what's going on?" He resisted the urge to yell at her, demanding an explanation for the interruption. She didn't interrupt him often at work, so he knew she probably had good reason.

"Jack, I'm okay."

"I'm okay, too, Kate." He reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He wasn't okay; his head was pounding and his stomach was so upset he had skipped lunch. "But that's not why you called, is it?"

"No, you're right, that's not why I called. Listen. I'm okay, but I'm at the Santa Monica Medical Centre. I was in a car accident and I'm okay, but I lost consciousness and they want to keep me here overnight."

"A car accident! Kate, what happened? Are you alright?" He could almost hear the smile in her voice when she answered that she was. His brain slowly processed the words she had spoken after she had told him she was in the hospital. "You lost consciousness? How come no one called me? What happened? What about…"

"Jack," she interrupted. "I'm okay and the baby's okay. They just want to keep us overnight to be safe. To make sure that we're okay. I'm sorry no one called you sooner. I think when they first brought me here they tried to call, but couldn't get through. They're not as persistent as I am and don't know the right people to go through to get a hold of you."

"Kate, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"I know you will, but you have to pick up Connor first. That's why I had to interrupt your meeting. He has to be picked up by four o'clock and I couldn't get a hold of Kim. My dad's out of town, so that just leaves you."

She sounded short of breath as she finished speaking, reminding Jack that she was injured, probably more so than she would admit over the phone. "Kate, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, Jack, I'm just tired."

"Okay, sweetheart. Get some rest and I'll see you in a little bit. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Kate ended the call, grimacing as she replaced the phone on its cradle. Shifting her position, she tried to get comfortable enough to find the rest she knew her body needed. It was difficult; the IV in her hand itched maddeningly and the cannula that draped from ear to ear added to her discomfort. The ache from her ribs didn't help much either. 'Most likely bruised,' she could remember the doctor saying. 'But we can't risk an x-ray to be sure.' She rested her hand on her abdomen protectively. "Quite a day we've had, little one. You're a Bauer though, you can take it."

She closed her eyes, remembering when she had first told Jack that he was going to be a father again. She remembered the sparkle in his eyes, the tender way he had kissed her still-flat stomach. They had just started trying, just decided that they wanted to try and she had been worried that he might not be ready. She had worried that it was too much too soon. She had worried that he had only agreed to have more children because it was what she wanted. She had worried needlessly.

She smiled as her memory drifted to the afternoon when they had told Kim. Her response had been the same as it had been to the news of their marriage. 'It's about time.' They didn't see each other as much as they had when Kate had first met Jack. She had moved with Chase to Valencia and visited often, but not as often as she, or Jack, would have liked. Valencia wasn't that far, but when you factored in their collectively hectic work schedules and the craziness that toddlers introduced into life, even a fifteen minute trip to the grocery store seemed a feat in and of itself.

A cart brushed the doorframe to her far-from-private room, jolting her eyes open with its intrusion. The young woman looked harried as she mumbled something under her breath, adjusting the unwieldy cart and continuing on her way. The doctor who had treated her had told her that she would be admitted and moved to a private room where she could rest while she spent the night. That had been over two hours earlier and she still hadn't seen any indication that she would be spending the night anywhere other than the bed she currently occupied in the busy er.

'At least, no one's in here with me,' she thought to herself, trying to find something positive in the situation. It wasn't easy. She had put on a brave front when she had called Jack. She knew she had to, for his sake. But even though she knew she was going to be okay, the accident had left her shaken and scared. She wanted him to hold her, or to sit with her and just hold her hand. She wanted to wrap her arms around her little boy and cover his face with kisses, thankful that she could. She wanted to pick up the phone and call him again, demanding that for once, he put her in front of his work. But she couldn't do any of those things, yet. All she could do was wait and take comfort in the fact that whatever Jack was doing, he was doing it as quickly as he possibly could so he could get to her.

Jack entered Bill Buchanan's office behind Chloe, a stack of file folders under his arm. "Here's everything I have on the Russian group. Chloe, Curtis, I need your help with this. Coordinate with Bill and see if there's anything here that relates to the chatter they picked up last night. Bill, I have to head out."

"Is everything alright, Jack?" The older man's face showed genuine concern, strengthening his estimation of the man's character. Jack still didn't know him very well, not one to easily trust new people in his life, but Bill had proven himself capable of filling the void left by Tony. 'At least professionally,' he amended his internal dialogue. It was times like this that he missed his friend most.

"Yes. No. Kate's been in an accident. She says she's okay, but they have to keep her overnight. I need to pick up Connor and get to the hospital. I'll be back in a little bit."

"Don't worry about it, Jack. I'm sure we can handle things without you. I'm still not sure there's really anything to handle. Go and take care of your family. We'll call if we need you."

"Curtis," Jack turned to the man he had recruited to the field operations unit just a few weeks earlier. "Make sure you get a hold of me the instant something comes up."

Twenty minutes later, Jack was cursing the traffic engineers as he fought his way across town to the day care centre they had chosen to bring Conner twice a week. He then decided to curse Kate's insistence on putting their son in day care at all and his own inability to talk her out of the idea. He didn't feel that social skills were something that a one-year-old needed to develop. After all, he had stayed home until starting school and hadn't had any problems interacting with the other children. Kate had won the battle when she argued that maybe they should give their son an advantage that his father hadn't had and then maybe he would grow up to be an even greater man than his father. 'How do you argue with someone who's flattering you while proving her point at the same time.' Shaking his head in answer to his silent question, he used the speed dial on his phone to call his daughter again, cursing at the machine that answered instead of Kim.

The cries of a child jarred Kate awake suddenly. The little girl guilty of her rude awakening lay in the bed next to her. 'When did that happen,' she thought hazily.

"Sorry about that." The nurse spoke to Kate while continuing to attend to the sobbing child. "We were trying to be quiet, weren't we, Ella?"

The little girl sobbed a "yeah", rubbing at her eyes. The nurse pulled the girl's hand from her eyes and wiped her face with a cloth.

"It's okay now," she soothed. "I'm all finished with the needle. Just sit back and relax. The doctor will be in soon to have a look at you and see if he can make you feel better."

"I want my mom."

Ella's voice was softer now that the pain of the IV insertion was over and the nurse hadn't heard it as she left the examining room. Kate looked over to the woman who had hovered in the background while the nurse worked, appalled that the woman still hadn't moved to soothe the child's tears. She reached out to hold the girl's hand, brushing a tear from her cheek before grasping the fingers in her own. Brown eyes focused briefly on Kate's features and the child's mouth tilted slightly in answer to the encouraging smile offered by Kate. Continuing to stroke the back of Ella's hand, she noted the heat that radiated through her fingertips and the fine rash that had developed as well. She eyed the woman in the corner once again, daring her to speak. The nurse returned then, followed by the same doctor who had treated Kate, preventing the confrontation before it could begin.

"So, Ella, you're teacher says you're not feeling very well and that you even slept through lunch and she couldn't wake you up for a while."

Kate cringed inwardly as she realized that this woman wasn't the girl's mother, but a good Samaritan looking after the girl's best interests. She turned back as the girl, who she estimated to be about five or six years old, nodded her head slightly in answer to one of the doctor's questions. She admired his demeanour as he continued to examine the child, keeping his tone soothing as he queried about her symptoms, coaxing her to answer surprisingly well for such a small child. Despite his bedside manner, her motherly instinct urged her to gather the girl in her arms, smooth her tangled auburn tresses and hold a cool cloth against her flushed cheeks.

She continued to listen as the doctor questioned the teacher who had had the foresight to bring Ella to the hospital. 'Samantha' was a substitute teacher, replacing Ella's regular teacher who had called in sick for the day, and didn't know how long the girl had been feeling ill. Ella's mom still hadn't been reached, despite several attempts to contact her workplace throughout the day. After her condition had worsened, the school had decided to break protocol and bring the girl to the hospital even though her mom hadn't been found.

The doctor frowned as he looked inside Ella's mouth, using his tongue depressor to examine the inside of her cheeks. "Ella, I'm going to have to run a few tests before I can find the right medicine to make you better." Turning to the nurse, he added: "Make sure you have Mrs. Bauer moved to her room right away. I think we've disturbed her rest enough."

"Oh, don't worry about that," Kate answered easily. "She really isn't disturbing me. I probably would still be sleeping if she hadn't needed an IV." Turning to Ella, she added: "Don't worry, Ella, I think I cried a little when I got my needle, too."

Jack glanced in the rear view mirror, checking on his sleeping son, smiling as he realized that at least one of them would find peace as the SUV crawled along the freeway. He had tried to reach Kate several times, finally admitting defeat in the face of a turned-off cell phone. He tried not to think about the hospital or the condition in which he would find her. Her assurances that she was "okay" did nothing to alleviate his anxiety. She spent as much energy coddling him as she did on their son; His condition when she had come back to his life had awakened her to the reality of the fragile state of his emotional health. 'Funny, when she first entered my life, my physical health was near a breaking point and she returned to my life when my mental health had reached the same place.'

He tried not to think of those days too often. He tried not to remember how little he had seen of Connor. How, almost like a seasoned therapist, Kate had used time with his son as a reward for time spent drug free and how limited that time had been. How, those first weeks had been awful and were just now, thankfully, fading from his memory. He had tried to defeat his internal demons alone, believing that he was strong enough to kick his habit on his own. He had fought to make sense of the horrid events of the past year and his own actions in answer to the choices he had faced. He had been failing.

Then Kate had found him one day, half-naked and sobbing on his bathroom floor; a still-full needle on the counter serving as mute testimony to his internal struggle. He had been defeated, deflated and completely incapable of erecting the brave façade he had shown the world each day. It was in that state that he had first spoken aloud of the demons within him. It wasn't until he had been stripped to that broken man that he finally found courage to share the horrors of his life with anyone. It wasn't until then, when he had given her every reason to take their son and run screaming from his life, that he had ever felt truly accepted by anyone.

He remembered how she had simply sat with him on the bathroom floor, her arms wrapped around his shaking shoulders. He remembered how she had listened to all the horrors he could throw her way, describing in excruciating detail every misdeed he had been forced to perform in his journey undercover. She listened and cried with him over the loss of Ryan Chappelle. She listened as he described the choices he had made with Tony, and Michelle, and Chase. She listened and she listened and she listened until finally, he had no horrors left to reveal. Then, she just held him in silence.

"Well, now that you've nearly convinced me to drive that needle into my own arm, I thought we might clean ourselves up and move to a more comfortable room."

He still remembered how comforting her offhand remark had been to him; how it had let him know that she had heard the worst he could offer and, although she couldn't completely understand everything he had said or done, she had accepted it as part of him. It had let him know that she was there for him whenever he needed her to listen, but that she wouldn't force him speak of his past any more than he desired.

He had turned the corner that day. Somehow, just having one person know all of his worst secrets had made the secrets seem not so powerful any longer. Somehow, just knowing that one other person shared in his knowledge had made the knowledge seem less dangerous. Just having one other person know all of his sins had made them absolved, somehow. Having that same person, who knew everything he had never wanted anyone to know, help him shower so he could literally and figuratively wash the dirt down the drain; somehow that had convinced him that maybe he was someone to value. He hadn't realized it in that moment, not even later that night as she had lain with him, holding his shivering his body. It may not have even been the following morning, although the inkling of the thought had started to flicker in his mind. The feeling of complete and utter acceptance and love had started to seep into his heart. That morning he had awoken with clear eyes and a clear mind and realized that maybe the woman who he had thought had looked like an angel when she had entered his life, that woman may just have been sent to save him. He didn't know if he believed in God, or angels, or saviours, but he knew better than to turn his back on a second chance when it was offered to him.

His cell phone rang just then, jerking his mind from the past, reminding him of their present circumstances. A sigh of disappointment escaped him when he realized that the caller wasn't Kate, even if he was thankful to hear from the woman on the other line.

"Dad, is everything okay?"

Jack realized then that he had vented his frustration on the traffic by calling Kim nearly every five minutes, leaving a string of missed calls that had triggered the panic in her voice. Unable to think of a way to calm her fears while telling her about Kate, he simply launched into a quick explanation for his urgency.

"I need you to meet me at Santa Monica Medical Centre. Kate's been in an accident, but she says she's okay, but…"

"What happened? Kate's in the hospital?"

"She's in the hospital, but she says she's okay… and the baby too," he added before she could interrupt him again. "I have Connor with me and they're going to keep her overnight and I want to stay with her, but Bob's out of town and…"

"You want me to take him home," Kim finished for him. "No problem, Dad. Let me get a hold of Chase and then I should be there in about… an hour, maybe an hour and a half."

"Thanks, sweetheart. And don't worry if it takes you longer. I'm sure Kate will be happy having him there as long as it takes. I just want to make sure that she gets some rest."

_A/N: Sorry for taking so long between updates. I hope that the length of this update made it worth the wait. It's kind of like I'm trying to tell two stories… the story before the day of the accident and the story from the accident and onward. I hope its coming across coherently. Also, sorry about the abrupt shift in perspective between Jack and Kate. It's all laid out wonderfully on my WP, but I just can't seem to get the breaks to transfer into this document. I hope it's all still fairly clear. Very frustrating, especially since I've never really written like this before. The good news is that the chapters are longer (at least I hope that's good news:) Please review and look for more in the days to come. Scarlet._


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